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July 4th brings fireworks, franks…and a fourth contributor.

Let’s get one thing straight: I’ll either be over the moon for you, or hate your rotting carcass and the toddler tunnel that failed to abort you.

Harsh? Nah, you’re on the INTERNET son, go fetch some cream if you’re gonna get butthurt. But I was born with a razor for a tongue, and I’ve managed to hone my wide-reaching disdain into something resembling an art form, and it’s happened to manifest itself in the form of words. I hate because I’m good at it.

Additionally, Haterade is the beverage of choice when you’re covering my beat: “streetwear”. Everyone involved in the “streetwear” industry hates the term, but it’s somehow managed to become universally accepted as standard nomenclature. When someone bites your steez, take a sip of that Haterade. When they flaunt shit that you’ve been up on for a minute, take a heaping swig of that salty-sour Haterade. When someone spills PBR on your gear and doesn’t even say sorry, boy you better down that bottle of Haterade and knuckle up, ‘cause bows is about to get thrown.

People are always thirsty for newer, fresher gear – and nothing quenches that thirst for stuff no one else can find better than Haterade.

You’ll hear my varying rants on the triumphs (very few) and tragedies (oh god, where do I even begin) of the upscale clothing and sneaker brands that are the hellspawn of skate style, hip hop influence, and online cult devotions to expensive hobbies. I’ll also explore the roots, the stories, the art, and the souls of the people who contributed to the culture as we know it today, and talk to modern proprietors who, despite the peddling of overpriced tees, have amazing tales to tell and are just trying to bring awareness to the aforementioned pioneers and innovators that the customer so rarely cares about.

Why do I have to hate? Well, I don’t. But I used to invest huge amounts of time and money into the sneaker and streetwear hobby, and I have to admit, a lot of it attracts me still. But time tends to rearrange your priorities (and so do bills), and for a long time I ignored every part of that scene, thinking that it couldn’t get any more ridiculous than it already was.

I couldn’t have been wronger. Streetwear is bigger now than perhaps it has ever been. I was there when they were still blowing the bubble, and I left right before it burst. Now that I’m coming back, I like to think that I’m in a unique position to take a look at what this scene used to be, and what it’s become now.

But honest to blog, I’m just glad to be a part of the Crew, and you can email me at (we’re working on the 2legit2quit jawns) with ideas, rants, or suggestions to help me moisturize my situation, to preserve my sexy. I’m a hater, but I take constructive criticism very well.

My name is Alexander Worthington iii – you can call me Alexander – and I’m honored to be your streetwear / hipster gear correspondent for The Steel Closet. Holler at your colleague.

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