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Brett Broski’s “The Ultimate Broski”

This is a fun one. Any self-respecting fashion publication will tell you that you shouldn’t wear sunglasses indoors, unbutton your shirt to douchebag neck, pop your collar, or even use hair gel. Nevertheless, many people still do, and still find it fashionable. If you wanted proof why it isn’t, here it is [NSFW].

Still not convinced? Watch what started it all here.

Still not convinced? I’ll break it down.

Sunglasses: have only two purposes. One is obvious.  As for the second…

In a club atmosphere, celebrities use it to protect them from the flashing lights of photographers.  You are not a celebrity.  And even if you are, you should be able to handle it unless you are drunk.  Sunglasses are especially effective at hiding inebriation.  Being inebriated might be fun, but if you are out of control, you don’t look good.  Besides, if you dress like this, those photographers are only after your money anyways.

Douchebag Neck: Need I say more?  Okay. By exposing so much skin, you are trying to set off a primal instinct in another person for sex.  This shows your desperation.  Desperation does not look good.  Furthermore, you might attract an undesired gender.

Popped Collars: Rene Lacoste invented the popped collar to protect his neck from the sun while playing tennis.  That should be its only purpose.  In a club, fear of the blacklight is a sorry excuse.

 Hair Gel: In a nutshell, it flakes.  Flakes can get everywhere and ruin your night, or the girl on your arm’s.  This is why everyone recommends pomades or waxes for sculpting.  As an added bonus, your girl can still touch your hair.

If you still think it’s fashionable, well, we know who you are.

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